What I Learned From Improvising a Number

Recently I was dancing in a non-burlesque capacity for a talent show when one of the acts didn't show up. I was asked to perform a number. Since I didn't have any burlesque accoutrements or music with me I had to make everything up. Here's what I learned:

• Always keep an emergency burlesque kit in the car for improvisation opportunities. At a minimum, it should contain a matching bra and panties, and pasties with coordinating matching boa and gloves, and a pair of heels, red lipstick and eyelashes.
• Only a true friend will loan you pasties. 
• Choose a song you know very well so you can exploit the beats and unexpected accents. Those will make your routine seem more put-together.
• No matter how cute you think it is, patting yourself on the head is just not sexy.
• Know that your boa’s red dye is set. Otherwise you could end up with pink shoulders, face, hands…
• If this is the first time your mother is seeing you strip in front of an audience, DO NOT make eye contact. You will completely lose your mojo.
• Don’t worry about doing backflips. Connect with your audience. Flirt with them. They don’t care if you can do the splits; they care that you’re happy to see them (in the Mae West sense).
• Let go of your inhibitions. This is a great time to try a new move. If it doesn’t work, smile, wink and take something off.